So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
