I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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