you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
