guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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