i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
