I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
