My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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