I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Two words: blizzard sex
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
