Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
