Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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