Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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