I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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