Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone signed my nipple.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
