Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
