So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
