just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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