I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
