I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
