2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
