Are we in a gay sports bar?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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