the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
