Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm at about main and main street
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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