That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
