Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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