its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
