weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
