everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize