dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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