he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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