Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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