I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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