What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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