A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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