hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
