I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
