All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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