is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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