There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
