My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
