To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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