mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
