were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
