Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
