Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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