I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
