I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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