Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
