New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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