Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
