Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
