new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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