Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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