remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
